Tales from the Shadowhunter Academy
Cassandra Clare, Sarah Rees Brennan, Maureen Johnson, Robin Wasserman.
I ended up really enjoying this! I’ve hardly watched any TV over the past couple of days because I was so engrossed by this book. I admit it got off to a rocky start to begin with, with the first two stories not being my favourite but as soon as Will Herondale rolled around it got so much better. (I mean doesn’t Will Herondale make everything better?) I loved all the cameos from the cast of TMI,TID, TDA and the whole boarding school aspect in general, and I liked how the school wasn’t all posh and everything and had rats living in shoes and slime on the walls and terrible food. I also enjoyed the Jace and Simon bromance that developed plus all the other new characters that were introduced.
I love George Lovelace, he’s adorable! I really ship Marisol and Jon, they probably wont be mentioned ever again so in my head they’re together and Marisol is annoying him with mundane things. Malec were adorable in this even though they were only in the final two stories.And it played out the Simon + Izzy post-demon-amnesia love story!
Welcome to the Shadowhunter Academy
“What’s wrong with you?” Simon demanded. “Saying ‘don’t panic’ is guaranteed to make everyone panic! Be specific about the problem.”
“In books or movies, people were either whisked away to a magical land in the clothes they were standing up in, or they glossed over the packing part entirely. Simon now felt he had been robbed of critical information by the media
“There were impressive stone paths and benches and even a statue of an angel that gave Simon nervous fits, since he was a Doctor Who fan. The angel wasn’t weeping, exactly, but it looked too depressed for Simon’s liking.”
“Being too cool for school was Jace’s thing.”
“Ms. Loss…,’ said Simon. ‘Can I ask you—what you’re doing?’
‘Dean Penhallow has decided that she is not going to order fresh food supplies until all this delicious, nutritious soup has been consumed. So I am going to bury this soup in the woods,’ announced Catarina Loss.
‘Grab the other handle.”
“Simon’s horse was defective, or possibly a genius that had worked out that Simon could not possibly control it. It went off for a wander in the woods, with Simon on its back alternately pleading, threatening, and offering bribes. If Simon’s horse could read his every thought, then Simon’s horse was a sadist.”
“Wow,” said George. “I imagined the demon realms were fearsome and terrifying, but seems like it was pretty much nonstop nom nom nom.”
The Lost Herondale
“Like all Herondales, his ability to love without measure, without end, was both his great gift and his great curse.”
“We want you to tell us about vampires.”
Simon grinned. “What do you want to know? Scariest is Eli in Let the Right One In, cheesiest is late-era Lestat, most underrated is David Bowie in The Hunger. Sexiest is definitely Drusilla, though if you ask a girl, she’ll probably say Damon Salvatore or Edward Cullen. But…” he shrugged, “You know girls.”
Julie’s and Beatriz’s eyes were wide. “I didn’t think you’d know so many!” Beatriz exclaimed. “Are they… are they your friends?”
“Oh, sure, Count Dracula and I are like this,” Simon said, crossing his fingers to demonstrate. “Also Count Chocula. Oh, and my BFF Count Blintzula. He’s a real charmer….” He trailed off as he realized no one else was laughing. In fact, no one seemed to realize he was joking.”
“Divided we stand,’ Simon thought, his stubborn biceps refusing to bulge. ‘United we do push-ups.”
“Remember, children, all the stories are true.”
Simon tried to wrap his head around the idea that there might, somewhere in Germany, be a large bean stalk with an angry giant at the top.”
“Simon was still hoping that somewhere in the Sadowhunter manual was the secret of the Vulcan death grip. After all, as his instructors kept reminding them: All the stories are true.”
The Whitechapel Fiend
“And what condition is -” Gabriel broke off with a sigh. “Ah,” he said. “Brother Zachariah.”
“This monster is violent,” said Will. “We might need a healer. Someone with the power of a Silent Brother. This is a special situation.”
“I cannot recall a situation you did not think was special and required his presence,” said Gabriel dryly. “You have been known to call upon Brother Zachariah for a broken toe.”
“It was turning green,” said Will.
“He’s right,” said Tessa. “Green doesn’t suit him. Makes him look bilious.”
“You’re such a good boy,” he said. “I often wonder how you could possibly be Will’s.”
“Spoon,” James said, leaning against his uncle’s leg lovingly.
“No, Jamie,” Will urged. “Your honorable father has been impugned. Attack, attack!”
“To his children, Will showed the same love he had always shown to her, fierce and unyielding. And the same protectiveness he had only ever showed to one other person: the person James had been named after. Will’s parabatai, Jem.”
“I am Tessa Gray,” she said in a low, clear voice. “And I believe in the importance of stories.”
“There must be snakes,” George said. “Isn’t this place everything a snake could want? Cool, made of stone, lots of holes to slither in and out of, lots of mice to eat . . . Why am I still talking? Simon, make me stop talking. . . .”
“Once, I was not called Tessa Gray but Tessa Herondale.”
“It’s always slime.’
‘Not so,’ George said. ‘One time it was mold.”
“So you just came here to torture me and talk about yourself?” Simon demanded. “Oh, Simon, Simon, Simon,” said Jace. “You may not remember, but that’s kind of our thing.”
Nothing but Shadows
“You cannot simply ask whether people look like their demon grandfather!”
“Father nevver once looked at any woman the way he looked at Mother, with joy and thanksgiving, as if she was a living wish, granted past all hope.”
“You are James Herondale, said Uncle Jem. As you always were. Part your mother, part your father, part yourself. I would not change any part of you if I could.”
“People are afraid of anybody who is different: It makes them worry everyone else is different too, and just pretending to be all the same.” James”
“Your mother says she will be brave and keep a stiff upper lip,” said Father. “Americans are heartless. I will cry into my pillow every night.”
“Would you like me to magically strip you and put you in gear?” Mr. Fell asked. “In front of everybody?”
“That would be a thrill for everybody, I’m sure,” said Matthew. Ragnor Fell wiggled his fingers, and green sparks spat from his fingertips. James was pleased to see Matthew actually take a step back. “Might be too thrilling for a Wednesday,” Matthew said. “I’ll go put on my gear then, shall I?”
“Do,” said Ragnor.”
The Evil We Love
“Have you never seen a movie? Read a comic book? That’s always how it starts – just a little temptation, just a little taste of evil, and then BAM, your light saber turns red and you’re breathing through a big black mask and slicing off your son’s hand just to be mean.”
They looked at him blankly.”
“Against all odds, the Academy had come to feel like home. A slimy, moldy, dungeonlike home without working toilets, maybe, but home nevertheless. He and George had even named the rats that lived behind their walls. Every night, they left Jon Cartwright Jr., III, and IV a piece of stale bread to nibble, in hopes they’d prefer the crumbs to human feet.”
“What’s next? You want to convince me they’re making another crap Last Airbender movie?”
“He hated to admit it, but this was one of the things about demon amnesia that bothered him the most. What kind of seventeen-year-old guy doesn’t know whether or not he’s a virgin?”
Pale Kings and Princes
“This stupid weapons-shopping idea. Last time I take dating advice from Jace.” “You let Jace plan our date?”
“He took her in his arms and kissed her-kissed her the way he’d been longing to kiss her since he first laid eyes on her, kissed her not like a romance novel hero or a Shadowhunter warrior or some imaginary character from the past, but like Simon Lewis kissing the girl he loved more than anything in the world.”
“This is how a faerie loves: with her whole body and soul.
This is how a faerie loves: with destruction.
This is how a faerie loves: with a gift.”
“You never called me. I saved you from getting decapitated by an Eidolon demon and you didn’t even call.”
Bitter of Tongue
“People could bear so much, but Simon did not know how much of the original you was left when the world had twisted you into a whole different shape.”
“Every night, no matter what has happened during the day, no matter if I am torn and bloodied or so bone-tired I wish I were dead, I look up at the stars and I give each star a brother’s name or a sister’s face. I will not sleep until I remember every one. The stars will burn out before I forget.”
“You know, this porridge isn’t at all bad,” Simon said, digging in. George nodded enthusiastically, his mouth full.
Beatriz looked sad for them, and possibly sad that boys were so stupid in general. “This isn’t porridge,” she told them. “These are scrambled eggs.”
“Oh, no,” George whispered faintly, his mouth still full, his voice terribly sad. “Oh no.”
“Beauty can be like that. Beauty cannot be trusted. Beauty can slip through your fingers like water and burn on your tongue like poison. Beauty can be the shining wall that keeps you from all you love.”
“There’s nothing wrong with George. It is not possible to find fault with George. He’s a perfect Scottish angel. He always shares the snacks that his mother sends him and he’s better- looking than Jace. There, I said it. I’m not taking it back.”
“Feel this arm,” said Simon. “Rock hard! I don’t mean to brag, but it’s all bone. All bone.”
The Fiery Trial
“There’s always something about true parabatai. They don’t need to speak to communicate. I saw the two of you having entire conversations without saying a word. It was like that with my parabatai Will. I never had to ask Will what he was thinking. In fact, it was usually better not to ask Will what he was thinking…”
That got a smile from Magnus and Catarina both.”
“How did you know?” Simon asked.
“It’s not that hard to see,” Magnus replied, and finally some of the usual levity was in his voice. “I’m also literally magic.”
“Why send a letter when you can send something truly magnificent?”“Simon had only had a few encounters with Jem Carstairs, who was apparently as old as his wife, Tessa Gray. They both looked amazingly fit for 150 years. Tessa even looked pretty hot. (Maybe Jem looked hot too? As Simon had thought once before, he probably wasn’t the greatest judge of male attractiveness.) Was it weird to think people who were twice as old as your grandparents were good-looking?”“It was pizza. Someone had stir-fried a pizza.”
“Maybe one day it will be just you and me, my little blueberry,” Magnus said conversationally. “But not for a long, long time. We’ll take care of him, you and I. Won’t we?”
Max Lightwood made a happy burbling sound that Magnus took as agreement.”“Obviously you would call them Malec,” said Beatriz. “Are you stupid, Simon?”“Magnus believed that many old things were creations of enduring beauty. The pyramids. Michelangelo’s David. Versailles. Magnus himself.”“Give me the baby,” Maryse said jealously. “You’ve had him for four whole minutes, Clarissa.”“Magnus noticed Maryse and Robert, who did not have the best relationship and hardly ever spoke to each other, having a brief whispered consultation about what YouTube might be.”“Check you out,’ said Magnus. ‘My famous boyfriend, inspiration to the masses.”“Though I realize that you are both a little annoyed with me, and this might not be the time to shower myself with praise,” Jace said slowly, “honesty compels me to tell you: Yes. Yes, I do think I am hilarious. ‘There goes Jace Herondale,’ people say. ‘Cutting wit, and also totally cut. It’s a burden Simon could never understand.”“I wish I could have your bright outlook on life, but unfortunately I cannot help looking around at the world and noticing that we are surrounded by idiots.”“Seriously, Jace, what is wrong with you?” This seemed a reasonable question to Magnus.”“Alec had been cranky that day, having wrenched his arm almost out of its socket during a fight with a dragon demon.”“Robert Lightwood followed him.
“I couldn’t help but notice that the baby is blue,” Robert said. “Alec’s eyes are blue. And when you do the”—he made a strange and disturbing gesture, and then made the sound whoosh, whoosh—“magic, sometimes there’s a blue light.”
Magnus stared at him. “I’m failing to see your point.”
“If you made the baby for yourself and Alec, you can tell me,” said Robert. “I’m a very broad-minded man. Or—I’m trying to be. I’d like to be. I would understand.”
“If I made . . . the . . . baby . . . ?” Magnus repeated.
He was not certain where to start. He had imagined Robert Lightwood knew how babies were made.
“Magically,” Robert whispered.
“I am going to pretend you never said that to me,” said Magnus. “I am going to pretend we never had this conversation.”
Robert winked, as if they understood each other. Magnus was speechless.”“Alec had been cranky that day, having wrenched his arm almost out of its socket during a fight with a dragon demon. He’d been leaning against the kitchen counter, listening, nursing his arm, and texting Jace messages like Y DO U SAY THINGS R XTINCT WHEN THINGS R NOT XTINCT and Y R U THE WAY THAT U R.”“Right,” said Marisol. “So, I don’t explain modern medicine to you, and then a medical emergency occurs to me. It could be solved with the application of a little first aid, but you don’t know that, and so I die. I die at your feet. Is that what you want, Jon?”
“No,” said Jon. “What’s first aid? Is there a … second aid?”“If the baby needs a bed,” George offered, “Simon and I could keep him in our sock drawer.”
Simon gave George an appalled glare. George looked distressed.”“I want the Law to change. I do not want to get married until we can get married in gold.”
“It’s not Cowardly to make a choice about what you want your life to be. Choosing what’s right for you, maybe that’s the bravest thing you can do.”“But George turned Simon’s assumptions on their head on a daily basis. As he was doing right at this moment, wiping away something that looked suspiciously like a tear.
“Are you… Crying?” Simon asked, Incredulous.
“Of course not.” George gave his eyes another furious wipe. “Well, in my defense,” he added, sounding only slightly abashed, “death is a terrible thing.”
“It’s a dead rat,” Simon pointed out. “A dead rat in Your Shoe, I might add.”“Nice old ladies don’t throw your Pokémon cards in the trash,” Simon pointed out.”“What could possibly make you think I have any standards left when it comes to you?”“Also, for the record, only one of us has actually been a rat—and you’ll note he’s not the one crying.”
I’d also like to have it in writing that I belive sweet and precious George Lovelace who cries over dead rats and loves Simon like a brother, yeah him, he deserved better!